@hipstermermaid: I can’t believe it’s already been 10 zoips since I invented my own system for measuring time.
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@internetluke: "Your under arrest!" No, YOU'RE under arrest *police looks around points to himself & mouths 'me'* Yeah you. *he tosses me cop car keys*
@OtherDanOBrien: [Cat Businessmen] "Geez, Phil, you look exhausted. Being a new father is tough, huh." *sighs* I only got 16 hours of sleep last night.
@cmfh111: me: I am going to get so much done... same me: *loads two forks into the dishwasher* ...tomorrow.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [Struts in lookin fly as heck in my speedo, shower cap and armfull of baby dolls struts out with new understanding of the term baby shower]