@hipstermermaid: I can’t believe it’s already been 10 zoips since I invented my own system for measuring time.
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@PortRooster: Buddy of mine dropped some acid... Burnt a hole in the floor... He was tripping for days!
@thetits: [texting] ME: I like you, I think you're cute MY CRUSH: oh um ME: HAHAHA omg my dog was chewing on my phone lol how did he type that
@fantasesay: Beyoncé: I cannot wait to slum it with some earth mortals at - wait what is it called again? Jay-Z: Coachella. Beyoncé: Coachella.
@Kaylezor: On the Wikipedia page for List of Serial Killers by Number of Victims it says "This page is incomplete. You can help by expanding it." Omg.