@Playing_Dad: I can't believe these women are just walking around with yoga mats like a game of yoga might just break out at any moment
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@ShittyComedian: When you said coke I assumed you meant cocaine. No thank you. Soda is bad for you.
@KeetPotato: Yes, I'd like to return this pizza "is there a problem, sir?" *opens box* ITS GOT NO TOPPINGS ON "sir, you've opened the box upside-down"
@TheMichaelRock: [at interview] Her: In three words or less, tell me why we should hire you. Me: I'm good with numbers.
@SPAC3CRAF: Please do not power off or unplug your machine. Installing update 45 of 9484727192873828277362517293847265127826262827262726273633833727...