@Playing_Dad: I can't believe these women are just walking around with yoga mats like a game of yoga might just break out at any moment
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@TheCiscoKidder: Sorry I unfollowed you on Instagram, but you take at least 10 pics of your face everyday. I don't even look at my wife that much.
@ObscureGent: Anonymous just switched everyone in Isis from Amazon Prime shipping to basic shipping. Good luck getting Fallout 4 by Christmas terrorists!
@sixfootcandy: How to get out of jury duty: When they read the charges, no matter what they are, yell out "Oh come on. Even I've done THAT!"
@Just_Lee_: If she says "well you're too busy to chat so have a good day" ..what she means is she hopes it's a good day for your hair to catch on fire.