@EmilyZDavis: I can't believe this dog and a whole family just died because of a forgotten comma
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@zachreinert03: Did you guys know on average 3 confused cannibals get punched in the face a year because they say yes to wanting a knuckle sandwich
@SooInnocentDad: Found my son and his GF naked in his room, Sex-ED is so advanced. Now, they also give homework!
@Twits_Giggles: It's amazing how patiently people will wait in line behind you when you're buying tampons.
@Mr_Kapowski: 90% of women that wear yoga pants probably don't do yoga. 100% of straight men don't care.