@EmilyZDavis: I can't believe this dog and a whole family just died because of a forgotten comma
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@michelleisawolf: George Clooney has done so much for the world. All of it to try to get us to forget that he was a terrible Batman.
@carlyken: [bank robbery] OK EVERYBODY GET DOWN! [dave starts doing the electric slide] Damn it Dave, not you, go grab the money
@thebeavs: When God was handing out obstacles I thought he said popsicles and said I'll take one of each variety.