@bingowings14: I've turned the wifi off. The 15yo's world has ended. I feel like one of the 4 Horseman of the Apocalypse. Conquest, War, Famine & Dad.

@ch000ch: [being carried away by a colony of ants] haha nice let's see where this goes

@callie_cakes: Ex picked up the kids, brought me coffee & took out my trash. This divorce thing is really working out for me.

@Contwixt: "I can't feel my legs" --mermaids

@JessObsess: ME AS A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR: I signed you both up for Tinder *1 week later ME: You still want a divorce? THEM: OMG NO THAT WAS HORRIFYING