@TheGabbieShow: i cant get a dog because it will give strangers an excuse to talk to me
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@EJGomez: *emergency room* NURSE: "we're losing him!" DOCTOR [pouring like a lot of buckets of ice water on his head]: "IM WORKING AS FAST AS I CAN"
@DowntimeDad: I just want to have the poker face of a toddler that tells you that they didn't poop their pants.
@Jeffwni: Little Known Fact: Bon Jovi has five brothers: Bon Joi, Bon Joii, Bon Joiii, Bon Joiv and Bon Jov