@CorkyKneivel: I can't get her off my mind, even the wind seems to whisper her name. Never fall in love with a girl named WHOOSHEE FFREWERRREFSHH.
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@iwearaonesie: friend: What’s one thing marriage has taught you? me: If you walk into the house eating a candy bar you better have one for her too
@curlycomedy: Passed a sign that says, "All you can eat, $30/person" but I don't think I can eat $30 worth of people.