@caliluvgirl77: I can't have a boyfriend because my clean laundry goes on the other side of my bed.
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@kumailn: "I bet all those murders are done by that hooded guy whose always running around rooftops w 17 weapons on him."-Nobody in Assassin's Creed
@SuperShourds: My 4 year told me my tummy looks soft and squishy today, so I put her barbies on the highest shelf on the house.
@_ElvishPresley_: They wrote "Kevin" on my coffee cup lol how do you get "Kevin" from "David” not to mention they got my order completely wrong
@ThatBrenna: West Side Story gave me the wrong impression. No one at this gang fight is a good dancer and I've been shot in the arm.