@brakco: I can't help but feel that if Mario hadn't been taking so many mushrooms he would have found the right castle rather quickly..
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@mikealfredcaine: my cousin jeff died today. sent flowers to the family with a little card saying "jeff is dead" so they know what the flowers are for
@cowboyjeffkent: Women on twitter tell me my beard is hot Women in real life tell me where I can find food and shelter .
@cornlog: My son is screaming his head off in his room but there's no way I'm going in there if his monster reports are true.
@iinkedZombie: All of these people are screaming like they've never seen someone revving a chainsaw on a public beach.