@Rockenden: I can't love you. I'm still in love with a girl I saw in a toothpaste ad 15 yrs ago. She winced when she ate ice cream, I can't abandon her.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SteveSuckington: [stranded on a deserted island] Ok first things first, I need to find a volleyball.
@AngelaLovesNY: Cardinals are fornicating on my porch again! The birds...not the religious robey dudes.
@OneLastStranger: When someone looks over my shoulder while I'm on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."