@jwoodham: I can't make it tonight. There's a couple fighting at Target and the guy just started sarcastically clapping. I need to see where this goes.
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@measday519: Research says that if you're afraid of spiders, you're most likely to find them in your bedroom. I'm afraid of men with accents so...
@RoosterMustache: DATE: *gets in car* ME: hi *starts driving* DATE: how's it going? ME: first, gas is sparked in the combustion chamber to push the pistons