@st00pidfast: I can't make you love me but I can tie you up and feed you until you're too fat to be loved by anyone else.
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@Eden_Eats: My greatest wish is for every guy who has ever rejected me to end up with a girl who asks tons of questions during a movie.
@dildointherough: Dating tip: Photoshop yourself into some of her selfies. Women love guys who are good with computers.
@dafloydsta: [couples therapy] HER: His obsession with Star Wars is tearing us apart ME: *covering my Yoda doll's ears* Hear you he can, Karen