@lazerdoov: I can't prove God isn't real, but at the same time, I can't prove that my dog doesn't run a violent Asian street gang while I'm asleep.
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@Lisabug74: My cat and I made a best friend pact tonight. If I die first, he won't eat my body. Or if he dies first, I won't use his skull as a cup.
@LurkAtHomeMom: I wish the dude that jogs around my neighborhood all day would wear a Super Mario costume. And occasionally duck into sewers.
@QwertyJones3: Her: It's disgusting how many dirty habits you have. Me: THE NUNS PAY ME GOOD MONEY TO DO THIER LAUNDRY OK???