@AndyAsAdjective: I can't prove it, but from the sound of it, I'm pretty sure there's an injured dolphin stuck in my dishwasher.
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@HomeProbably: My girlfriend said I never do anything to help so I hid her phone. I'll prove her wrong when I find it.
@KalvinMacleod: DOG BOSS: Any messages for me? DOG ASSISTANT: just one from Mr. Agoodboy DOG BOSS: who’s Agoodboy? DOG ASSISTANT: *tail starts wagging*
@rickkondell: It's nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he's getting hit by a train.