@ZackBornstein: I can't remember a time in my life when an update for Acrobat Reader wasn't available.
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@ArfMeasures: JESUS: And lo, I have fed 5000 of you with 5 fishes and 2 loaves "AMAZING!" "A MIRACLE!" ME: *slowly raises hand* So do we get dessert or
@Cryptic1iam: Me: I've read the Bible cover to cover Her: Yeah? Prove it. M: How? H: What is the first sentence in it? M: "Do not remove from motel"
@iwearaonesie: wife *feels bad for feeding the kids chicken nuggets 3 times this week* kids: THIS IS THE BEST WEEK OF OUR LIVES!