@clarkekant: I can't stand it when people don't know the difference between your and you're. There so stupid.
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@TheTweetOfGod: If you asked Jesus on the cross what he wanted the holiday marking his death to be called, "Good Friday" would not have leaped to his mind.
@UncleDuke1969: [mall] Wife: Wait here. Me: Okay. Wife: Hold my purse. Me: Yes, ma'am. *looks in purse* *waves at testicles* Me: *sigh* I miss you guys!
@Lisa_Laughs_: You said I could have my way with you. If you didn't want me to experiment with gas and fire, you should've been more specific.
@torrami: Our wifi is down and I had to fap using only my imagination like some kind of savage :(