@bourgeoisalien: I can't stop coughing. Think I'll go see a movie in a crowded theater while slowly eating a bag of bone-dry popcorn.
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@Nahdude83: *DJ scratches a sick mix* [crowd goes wild] *DJ scratches a puppy's ear* [crowd "awws"] *DJ scratches Lotto ticket* [crowd "oohs"] *wins $1*
@daemonic3: I'm going to run errands, need anything? "Yes, some new light bulbs" Why, our current bulbs are too heavy? "And a good divorce lawyer"
@collinwithtwoLs: *cashier stares at obviously fake ID* you sure you're 3? *dog panics and runs out of the store barking*