@kelkulus: I can't tell if Michael Cera is actually an actor, or just an awkward guy who keeps wandering onto film sets and does his best to fit in.
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@Gre_Gone: [Entire house is full of trees] Girlfriend: What did you do?! Me: You told me to spruce things up. GF: Everything's stuck to everything!!!
@Coastiefish: Don't say "ATM machine". The "M" already stands for "machine". It's redundant. It's like saying "end result" or "racist Fox News Anchor".
@WeissBrandon: Cop: FREEZE, DON'T MOVE!!! Me: *stops moving* Cop: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND Me:... Cop: NOW! Me:... Me:... Cop: for the love of god...unfreeze