@ParentNormal: I can't tell if my baby is a slow clapper or is starting a slow clap to mock my parenting.
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@3sunzzz: [Bob Dylan giving singing lessons] I'd like you to sing it again, but this time plug your nose and put these 5 marbles in your mouth.
@MarkAgee: If I win Powerball, I'm having at least six of you killed. Four of you know who you are. I think the other two will be very surprised.
@papasuncle: God: Basically u just chill. Cow: Nice. God: I mean, at first. Cow: ...then? God: Then people murder u to eat ur insides & wear u as a coat.