@okimstillhungry: I can't wait for thanksgiving. It's an election year so that means there will be at least 4 fist fights and someone's getting disowned.
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@OarackBobamaa: Biden: Eric Trump, you ugly... Obama: Chill Joe.. Biden: You ya Daddy's son! Obama: Ayyyye !
@dafloydsta: *goes to bathroom *takes out phone *opens Twitter *finishes *pulls pants up *flushes *forgets to poop
@mattsurely: If anyone out there is named Aesop dear god please open a table store I have just the name for you.
@internetluke: [vet office] Hi I am here to drop my cat off. Just a check-up. *doctor walks out* "Hi, I am Dr. Curiosity we- I'll take my cat elsewhere