@okimstillhungry: I can't wait for thanksgiving. It's an election year so that means there will be at least 4 fist fights and someone's getting disowned.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jackiembouvier: I reached blindly inside my cavernous mom bag for a lip balm and I touched something I didn't recognize. Go on without me.
@SortaBad: Priest: Do you take this woman to be your wife? Me: "I do" Priest: Ok can you say it again without using finger quotes while you do it
@steveolivas: 12yo son forgot his electric toothbrush -- so now he has to MOVE HIS ARM to brush his teeth. His protest was legendary.
@sameblacklist: There should be an eBay for evil people so they can purchase evil people stuff without having their motives questioned.