@JervanF: I can't wait till I have kids so I can drive slowly past McDonalds and tell them there's food at home when they ask for some..
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@jujuhounds: Girl: Saying hot is disrespectful. You should say 'beautiful' instead. Me: Ok. Me: Can you please pass the beautiful sauce?
@SteveKoehler22: The NFL has hired their first female referee. She will throw flags for penalties the teams committed 5 years ago.
@Matt_the_1st: 911,What's your emergency? Me: I think it's a heart attack 911: Can you call back when you're sure, we're watching Walking Dead