@Shot_Of_Cabo: Can't.. arguing with someone who thinks phone internet and internet internet are two different internets.

@alan_maguire: I'm watching two crows fight over a toothbrush. Crows don't even have teeth, it's just capitalism making them want things they don't need

@TheAlexP: Whenever I see a newspaper on a driveway, left out in the rain, I figure that house just forgot how to read.

@tbhjustkoaIa: i love when people apologize to me about their rooms being dirty I’m just like lmao u should see my life

@robfee: "Give me the best quality TV commercial I can get for $57!" -Every attorney apparently