@charstarlene: I can't wait to get married and communicate my disdain solely through aggressive dishwashing.
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@JohnHilsen: When grocery shopping, I only buy foods that can also be used as a weapon. Cantaloupe is a good example of this.
@Eightinchgoat: I wonder which lie came first: "Oops, wrong hole!" or "That's never happened before!"?
@GoldenSpirals: Hippocrates did very well for himself, considering he was named after cages for a large mammal.
@jordan_stratton: Just once, I'd like to sleep as deeply as a cartoon sheriff whose keys are dangling seductively from his belt.