@HalfBakedHoney: I can't wait to tell my grandchildren how many times I've survived the end of the world.
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@amishschool: Dropped mother-in-law at airport. Her flight isn't until Tuesday, but with security and all, best to play it safe.
@daemonic3: MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: An alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts.
@Snotgun: I've conditioned myself to only poop at work. Now my bathroom smells great but I can't take more than 2 days off w/o terrible constipation.
@Manda_like_wine: My 4yo just came into the living room, crying, "I don't want Santa to see me when I poo."