@HalfBakedHoney: I can't wait to tell my grandchildren how many times I've survived the end of the world.
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@robfee: Dear Ninja Turtles, Why are you wearing masks? There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Her: Prove that you care about me Me: *Takes my phone off the charger and plugs in hers
@TheTweetOfGod: Call Me crazy, but the ideal number of times a Pope should have once been a member of the Nazi Youth is zero.
@mommy_cusses: *Husband using Ouija board after I've died* Please answer me *arrow moves* "It's on the top shelf. Right there. RIGHT THERE! Use your eyes!"