@mynameisntdave: I can't wait until Twitter gives you the option to block yourself. I say some real dumb shit on here and I shouldn't have to deal with it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Quartzjixler: I was late so I shoved a whole taco into my mouth. It was a sight to behold based on the facial expression of the lady in the adjacent car.
@OrignalceQueen: *Pops up from the backseat as you're driving* *Duct tapes your neck to the head rest* Now, why are you telling people I'm crazy?!!
@Iwriteforcats: The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: My mom: The liberals in California are rubbing off on you. Me: I know, it keeps getting in my hair. (silence)