@k_lli: I carpool with a guy & we have officially run out of things to talk about. Today he commented on how well-made the road was. I agreed.
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@bridger_w: I eat the first half of a burrito to get full, I eat the second half to teach myself a lesson
@ItsAndyRyan: Just misread a headline 'Trump wins big' as 'Trump bins wig'. I thought: 'about time too'.
@internetluke: [last supper] Jesus (to Judas): so your facebook status said you were anxious? Anything u wanted to say Judas (sweating): no not really