@weinerdog4life: I carry a bar of soap in my pocket so when someone tries to talk to me I can pull it out and say someone is paging me and leave.
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@cervixsmash: Psychiatrist cannibal by day, pop star singing sensation by night Hannibal Montanibal
@joejwest: ME: Pet it OPTIMUS PRIME: But I'm afraid of it ME: It's just a dog OP: Oh..ok [reaches out] DOG: [sneezes] OP: [transforms into large truck]
@Jay_FrickinLynn: M: If I cashew looking through my windows agai- H: What? M: I saw you pecan! H: No, I wasn- M: You're macadamian me mad. H: You're nuts.
@pleatedjeans: [spiders pour into room] THEYRE EVERYWHERE [group of tap dancers enter] ALRIGHT MEN THIS IS WHAT WEVE TRAINED FOR