@_xLNc: I carry a knife whenever I'm running late to work because that's what Counterstrike taught me: "You always run faster with a knife".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@darrinfb: I just found a halloween candy on my lawn and ate it. So I guess I AM able to live off the land if I ever needed to.
@nerdjpg: It’s 2007. You’re working on a PowerPoint for school. It’s about ancient Egypt. You select the Papyrus font. “Yes, Perfect”
@Reverend_Scott: ????LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR ????LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR ????LET THE BODIES HIT THE- "Carl, you're fired. You're a horrible mortician."
@philco816: Mob Boss: I need you to smoke this guy. Me: Ok, that takes 8-12 hours for a turkey though. Mb: I don't care just get it done.