@KevinFarzad: I carry a rolled up yoga mat so people think I'm fit but really it's just a great way to hold 2 footlong meatball subs.
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@samalmightysam: Women can detect even the smallest of lies, but on TV they tell them they can lose 20 pounds in 5 days and they believe it all.
@FilthyRichmond: Lifeguards should focus more on water safety and less on me laying eggs in the sand.
@robwhisman: just saw the gorilla thing. what kind of thoughtless, negligent parent would raise their child in ohio