@StinkyGr33n: I carry one of those tiny Swiss Army knives with me at all times. You never know when you'll need a tiny blade to thwart an attacker.
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@DontTouchMyWine: Whoa. Wait a minute. So those stick figures on your car aren’t for pedestrians you ran over? Damn it! *starts scraping off her stickers*
@shariv67: Got so wasted last night, had to take a train home. And now I can't figure out how to return it.
@AimeeHelene1: *wakes at 3am* *sits in dark* *jingles chains & scratches walls* *waits for everyone to be so creeped out they can't sleep & we open gifts*
@DCpierson: MOST RESTAURANTS: Waiter: "Have you dined with us before?" You: "No." Waiter: "Oh! Well, (*proceeds to describe a normal restaurant*)"