@JCWisdomNuggets: I carry two crickets around in a small box so when I say something that isn't funny I can supply my own sound effects. They get real tired.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ericONEderful: A naked man brushed his teeth next to me as I washed my hands. This is why I don't go to the gym often.
@MikeLonghelt: They told me to spread love wherever I go. Now everyone is complaining about being covered in Nutella. You can never win with some people.
@LoveNLunchmeat: This diet is probably gonna end in murder, but still pretty excited. I'm gonna look so skinny in my mugshot!
@DaddyJew: I'm like a mouse. If u give a mouse a cookie hes gonna want some milk. If u gimme a beer im gonna want some nachos. Plus we both like cheese