@Dadsbustednuts: I caught my employee sleeping on my office couch today. I didn't know if I should fire him, or tell him what I did on it last night.
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@TitansHomer: "Real men like a woman with curves" - Fat Chicks
@MensHumor: You can tell by a woman's feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
@psybermonkey: *watches Charlotte's Web* Netflix: you might also enjoy... Babe Peppa Pig Season 1 episode 1 of Black Mirror
@funandmisery: As a kid: Why are cartoons always wearing the same clothes that’s gross! As an adult: This shirt fits well so I bought 4 of them
@omgthatspunny: Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft office is in big trouble. You have my Word.
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