@bridger_w: I caught my insane ex going through my garbage, but I guess that's what I get for dating a raccoon.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AGreaterMonster: I'm going to swallow a jack-in-the-box so that when they do an autopsy—BOING, surprise!
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too