@Julian_Deane: I caught my nephew doing drugs with me last night.
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@KevinBuffalo: Exercising can add years to your life. For example I jogged 4 miles today and now I feel like I'm 73.
@lazerdoov: Break into your neighbor's house every night but don't take anything just put a cape on their dog
@BigBagOfScum: And this song would come on and all the white people would start having a group seizure. Me explaining the Harlem shake to my grand kids.
@thenoahkinsey: *forgets Netflix password* *sends email reset* *forgets email password* *sends reset to backup* 20 resets later: *opens 2nd Netflix account*