@FilthyRichmond: I caught myself whistling the Unsolved Mysteries theme while hiding a body.
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@BuckyIsotope: *robbers burst into bank* EVERYONE PUT YOUR HANDS UPDOG *bank manager frowns* What's updog? WE'RE ROBBING THIS BANK WHAT'S UP WITH YOU
@OutOfLeftField_: If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case.
@WildeThingy: Louis Lane "there is no way broccoli is a superfood!" Broccoli *takes spectacles off* Louis Lane "My God! Look, it's a superfood!"
@Holy_Mowgli: car mechanic: I'm tired drummer: I'm beat pipe layer: I'm drained gardener: I'm bushed chef: I'm fried tailor: I'm worn plumber: I'm pooped