@SamGrittner: I celebrate International Women's Day by visiting my local CVS and torching all their 'JUST FOR MEN' products while screaming: "NOT TODAY!"
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@jasonlight73: I like to cover my tracks by ending all my Google searches with the word "hypothetically"
@KeetPotato: doctors before an x-ray be like "dont worry this is perfectly safe" and then the dude goes to egypt to press a button
@canadasandra: Wanna know what it's like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.