@OkieGirl405: I changed my relationship status to "I'm sharpening my knives" on Facebook so my boyfriend's family will never come visit
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@Wakenbake77: If you find a fry on the floor and you don't share it with me, we can't be friends. Don't touch me. Monster.
@HeyZeus666: With so many unhappy married couples and a 50% divorce rate, I think it's pretty obvious that Americans don't breed well in captivity.