@OkieGirl405: I changed my relationship status to "I'm sharpening my knives" on Facebook so my boyfriend's family will never come visit
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@noduffers: Is there anything less intimidating than a cop on a bicycle? Wobble on, agent of justice, wobble on.
@TheAlexNevil: By "ancient ruins of a once great civilization"-standards, I keep a fairly clean house.
@itsthatAsh: Commas are the coolest punctuation, because they're like "Yeah, you haven't got time to stop, but you can chill for a little bit."