@OkieGirl405: I changed my relationship status to "I'm sharpening my knives" on Facebook so my boyfriend's family will never come visit
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@Reverend_Scott: Superman's Google searches: "Strongest hero" "Strongest hero. Not Hulk" "Fastest hero" "Fastest hero. Not Flash" "Phone booth for sale"
@PaperWash: McConaughey: I'll have a venti with cream please Starbucks barista: ok, how do you spell your last name? McConaughey: I don't know
@PJTLynch: Captain America: I got the alert, what’s the emergency? Avengers: Well, it’s snowing, so... CA [handing over shield]: Last time! Buy a sled!