@WheelTod: I cheated on my drug test, with a younger, more attractive drug test.
@shawnspree: Friend: How many calories does heartache burn?
Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.
@lucky_300: The person you are trying to stalk
Is stalking another person..
@68Cly29: The embarrassing moment when you bring handcuffs to 'gamenight' and she brings Monopoly.
@TeachersHot: Morning wood makes the best fire.