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@Cait_Plus_Eight: I childproofed my house, but they keep getting in.
@PeterClayton6: My testicles are in The Guinness Book of Records. Got a few minutes before the librarian sees me.
@DetroitLush: If zombies attack I'm heading south, most of those people don't have teeth.
@JayElem00: Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person.
@flashember: When life hands you donkeys, move to a mountainous region.
@RealGorillaNips: Officer: Do you know you have a blinker out?
Me: Yes, officer.
Officer: When did you plan on getting that fixed?