@rob5373: I choked on a carrot earlier and all I could think of is that a donut wouldn't have done that to me.
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@tatsabrat: My creepy neighbour asked me if I think he's creepy. The fact that he asked through my bathroom window after my shower just made it awkward
@sarcasm_inc: *leans into microphone* My question is for Salt-N-Pepa. "Hi" "Hey" Hi."Push It" is about takin a dump, right? "No" "Nope" *hands friend $5*
@DaleInc: This drink tastes like the neighbors will be hearing late night small arms fire. I swear I just saw a coyote or a squirrel or a tree or a...