@RobDenBleyker: I choose which country to root for in the Olympics by what cuisine I'm hungry for at the moment. Go Italy! #gnocchi2014
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@Procaffinator: Its probably time to clean the microwave when you heat coffee and it comes out smelling like a burrito.
@PellMull: Everyone is unique. Except you. You are not unique. You are the only not unique person in human history.
@FloodyHippie: My cat was bitten by a squirrel and I have to suck the rabies out before she slips into a double cheese burger. --how I cancel dates