@lizard_wizard77: “i cnat believe this!” he yells as his beard of bees turns on him. “i would expect this from the others but not u” he says to 1 specific bee
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@ArfMeasures: DOCTOR: Your leg is broken ME: So what happens now? D: We put in a cast & it'll recover naturally HORSE: [sticks head round curtain] WHAT?!!
@minivansandgin: Hear toddler having meltdown at Target Me: Parents should control their kids! Cashier: Isn't she yours? Me: C: I saw her come in with you.
@topaz_kell: [impatiently yells] "What do I have to do to get a margarita around here??" And that's when I got kicked out of Dairy Queen.
@Cpin42: According to Verizon, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ.