@HannahAntics: I complain about my kids a lot but I'd be lost without them. Lost in my expensive sports car in designer clothes. Or lost in my clean house.
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@Axenbane: I would be completely shocked if I ever won the lottery. Mainly because I don't play the lottery.
@kendragaylord: [Whole Foods] Woman: MY COCONUT WATER BROKE! *I drive her to the hospital and she names her first coconut after me*
@MarfSalvador: Boy: *Kissing girl on couch* You wanna take this upstairs? Girl: Hehe sure baby Boy: Sweet! Grab the other end, I can't carry it by myself