@SteveSuckington: I consider anything that doesn't fit in the dishwasher to be for one time use.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: My mom just texted me to say that her dog killed 2 groundhogs in her backyard this morning so I think she may be doing Groundhog Day wrong.
@KalvinMacleod: DOG BOSS: ur fired ME: wait, is there any way you'll reconsider? DOG BOSS: no ME: u want to go for a ride in the car DOG BOSS: *tilts head*
@Reverend_Scott: Mistakes married women make: 1. Assuming he heard you. 2. Assuming he understood you. 3. Assuming he'll remember. 4. Marrying a man.