@Sarcasticsapien: I corrected the names of all my friends in my Contacts.
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@ValeeGrrl: [House Hunters episode] HUSBAND: I'm a freelance hamster trainer WIFE: And I tune harmonicas part-time HUSBAND: Our budget is $950K
@TheAlexNevil: Boss: You wrote one of your strengths is invisibility and that seems--what are you doing?! Me (giving him the finger): Wait--you can see me?
@AGreaterMonster: When I was a kid I got in trouble for playing with Grandma Bella in the sandbox. Can't play with dead bodies apparently.