@Sarcasticsapien: I corrected the names of all my friends in my Contacts.
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@Brianhopecomedy: *grabs knife, cuts forehead, lies on floor* Wife walks in: "WHAT HAPPENED?" "A burglar came in right when I was about to clean the house"
@ValeeGrrl: Ah, spring is here. Time to open the windows and remind my neighbors that I know every word to the "Grease" soundtrack.
@E_lok44: He asked why I put my stick figures on my dash, not the bumper. I had to explain that it was an actual photo of my relatives.
@amishschool: Offered the kids $5 to clean so they could learn about money and then didn't pay them so they could learn about randomly trusting people.