@joanofdarkness: I could be happily married to some dude for 50 year an id still be textin ma pals like "omg do u think he likes me???"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mrtruthandsoul: *holding cardboard sign by intersection* NOT POOR JUST ON MY WAY TO BREAK DANCING SCHOOL
@therealeatwood: RUSSELL: I told you that cheese wasn’t for you ME: [bitterly, mousetraps on both hands] Nothing’s ever for me, is it Russell
@cervixsmash: Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son? Son: I smoked weed, dad Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot
@FilthyRichmond: I'm calling about the poster for your missing cat. Why not ask the guy who took that picture? Just kidding, I ran over it.