@nocturnallyme: I could be wrong, but an escape goat strikes me as an awfully inefficient getaway plan.
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@girl_a_whirl: WEBMD: Enter symptoms Me: cold chills, squishy brain, stinging skin WEBMD: You are a jellyfish
@bobvulfov: FRIEND: do u want to hang out this weekend ME: generic excuse FRIEND: did u just say "generic excuse"
@dubstep4dads: I wonder if Sallys parents were like "Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Idiot."