@NolaChef504: I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
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@Piecezilla: St Peter reviewing my browser history before I enter Heaven: I see you've had a hard time cooking chicken. All of that's behind you my child
@SoVeryBritish: Trains delayed due to: - Wrong kind of sun - Ominous cloud - Slightly damp leaf - Chilly track - Suspicious gravel - Sarcastic swan
@PlagueLovers: My password is "weak?" Well your password recovery security question is soft as shit. The city I was born in? Ask me why my mom left my dad.