@NolaChef504: I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
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@ariscott: Please God, let the weather be nice for my picnic. There are 7 billion people on this planet. Many starving. Please hear my picnic prayer.
@primawesome: Too bad the dinosaurs didn't have a Bruce Willisaurus to fly into space and blow that asteroid up.
@LittleMissZesty: So when a cat pounces on a stranger's lap and demands tickles it's "cute" but when I do it I'm "causing trouble in Starbucks" again. Jeez!