@Donnie_Fairburn: I could get hit and killed by a truck right in front of him and my dentist would still find a way to blame it on the fact that I don't floss
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@envydatropic: A coworker just asked if I had any "mouth water" and I am thoroughly confused by this
@LizHackett: I once saw a real bear in the wild and said "Aww, look at him!" What I'm saying is, don't turn to me for practical thinking in an emergency.
@SladeWentworth: McDonald's french fries are not real food. Just found one under my car seat from two months ago and it looked perfect. Tasted fine, too.
@DadandBuried: Doing LEGO with my son is like assisting during surgery. 6yo: Flat gray piece. Me: Here. 6: 5 square red blocks. M: Here. 6: I said RED!