@Donnie_Fairburn: I could get hit and killed by a truck right in front of him and my dentist would still find a way to blame it on the fact that I don't floss
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@scott_towel: My childhood left me with unreal expectations about how often I would see pies used as weapons.
@Rollinintheseat: *Geography Bee* Judge: "Tell me about Yemen." Me: "Chandler said he was moving there when he couldn't breakup with Janice on Friends."
@yayraptor: ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking please keep your seatbelt on as we--OH MY GOD [plane flies into a giant baby mouth]