@Donnie_Fairburn: I could get hit and killed by a truck right in front of him and my dentist would still find a way to blame it on the fact that I don't floss
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@PopSlapFunk: Arrhythmia, blocked arteries, leaky valves, "Hey, I found you on Twitter" and other things that will suddenly stop your heart.
@BlindVigil: Q: "How long were you at your last job?" A: "Seven-and-a-half inches... same as now"
@Ygrene: Person: trust me, I know a thing or two Me: (untrustingly) that's really not an impressive number of things to know
@OVLH: "He's more scared of you than you are of him" - Girl coaching her friend into talking to me