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@PleaseBeGneiss: I could have been a monk but I missed my chants
@AristotlesNZ: Me: I said no cookies!
4yo: I forgot. Maybe I have amnesia!
Me: How'd you get amnesia?
4yo: I don't remember.
Me: Well played..
@petemandik: [long ago]
A: Ok, so let's mush a tree to pulp and then make flat thingies out of it.
B: Great idea. Write that down.
@MakesYouGiggle: Life's too short for 1-ply friends. You need people who can handle your shit.
@HiddenPinky: Accidentally went to Rouge One instead of Rogue One. Boy is my face red.
@SSparklesDaily: If I know one thing for sure it's that nobody has ever looked back on their life and wished they'd eaten more celery.