@LizHackett: I could host an elegant dinner party, but I don't know enough people with simmering tension over long-held secrets to make it worthwhile.
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@Nickadoo: On Twitter, people respect you for sharing your deepest, darkest flaws. Unless those flaws are typos, in which case, die in a fire.
@OhHiAlyPie: "I just really need a good man to fill the hole" *100 men come running up "In my heart." *100 men run away
@Ristolable: I never made it as a firefighter. I thought arsonists were people who hated arson, so every time we met one I thanked him for his support